Sometimes you get sick and it takes you out at your knees.
It can break you or it can humble and soften you.
The latter has happened to me this week, in getting terribly sick in a way where I can't quite recall experiencing this much physical pain in a long time.
While I look relatively fine and without getting into the laundry of ailments I've been experiencing for the last few days, my body has been aching and hurting in all kinds of intense ways.
I love being the fiercely independent woman that I am, AND -- I think I have a piece of "independent woman syndrome" where I tend to muscle through things on my own, move at a rapid pace, and don't always make a enough room for ease in my body.
I go hard, and sometimes it takes it's toll.
Getting sick like this and having it reduce me down to such a fragile and tender state has me re-evaluating all the ways I move through life.
I've been virtually bedridden and only able to move at relatively slow pace in my "good" moments.
I feel sensitive as fuck.
And yet, the ease I'm allowing myself while I heal and taking the time to move slowly is something I'm going to carry forward as I get better.
I'm sick of the muscling through, going it alone too often, and rushing through everything.
Getting sick always has it's lessons, and what I'm taking from this is to allow this softening and humbling of my being to remain a constant in my life because I'm soaking up so much more out of every moment and the increased sensitivity I feel is incredibly refreshing for my ferocious spirit.
I'm really liking the softness.
And for now... Lots of snuggles, sleep, and self-care.