The Processing of Loneliness

Oh, the loneliness,

How it consumes me.

The quietude of words unspoken,

Conversations not had.

Left alone to the thoughts in my head,

And the uncomfortable reality that in the end I'm all I've got.

The desire to have another warm body in bed with me,

It runs so deep that it almost consumes me.

What I would do to have some physical touch right now,

It almost frightens me.

How can I be so completely uncomfortable in my own presence?

How can I be so completely tortured in the silence?

How can I be so completely lost in the lack of company?

I hate the fiend that lives inside of me,

Who almost can't survive without constant rapture.

This fiend inside of me,

She's constantly awaiting her the next hit of passion.

Eyes fixated on her prey,

She knows how and when she will go in for the kill.

Except for these moments where I force my fiend into silence,

Giving her no choice but to learn to revel in her own company.

I deprive her of the opportunity to even seek out the solace of another's flesh,

She is left to find peace in her own.

It's a constant battle inside of me,

Fighting against the sense of deep loneliness without another by my side.

But it's a fight for love.

For within the battle against loneliness,

Lies the deepest sense of self-love she could possible imagine.

And suddenly,

It's all so very worth it.