It’s both entertaining and infuriating to me how much issue most men take with women using their bodies however they damn please.
Entertaining, because witnessing a guy react in such a bothered way in the face of a woman wielding her body in a way that’s empowering for her gives me great joy, as it serves as an in-your-face reminder that they can’t truly lay claim to her.
Infuriating, because the misogynistic belief that men should have control or say over what women do with their bodies is so deeply ingrained in the majority of them.
This belief is alive in so many men that don’t even realize it about themselves, and I witness it come out in side comments, jokes, or in passing in the street.
One of my ex-boyfriends considered himself to be a feminist, and yet took major issue with the way I dressed on a day-to-day basis, particularly with the short shorts I wear in the summer time.
And yet, for how bothered he was by me wearing these shorts in public, one of the first things he would ask me to wear for him in the privacy of the bedroom, was those same shorts.
In other words, be empowered in the way you express yourself, as long as it’s behind closed doors and only with me.
This is a contradiction and far from a feminist attitude of supporting women in their bodies being theirs, first and foremost — because it was only okay if he was in control of how I expressed myself through my body.
Men can work Tinder like a side job, fucking multiple girls a week but when the very same woman enjoys having casual sex on a regular basis is instantaneously a slut, as soon as they find out Tinder dates are as frequent a thing for her as they are for him.
I’m so bored with the misogyny that is so bred into men and ingrained into our social constructs that it’s like second nature for most people, including in a lot of women’s attitudes that I witness.
I couldn’t be more tired of having to expend so much emotional labor on a regular basis explaining to guys why the things they say or do are misogynistic, shaming, or inappropriate.
And yet, I won’t stop calling it out when I see this belief in action, nor discontinue modeling an attitude of being a woman who’s empowered in using my body however I damn please.
Patriarchy, can you just, like, go to bed now?