I’ve never been one to follow the expected path in life.
I don’t fit well into other people’s molds, and often challenge their understanding or previously perceived notions of how to go about life.
Sometimes this inspires others, while often it evokes a sense of discomfort in them because I’m a little hard to understand and when you don’t fit the mold that society paves for the average human, people are like:
“Errrr, wait, but like… you didn’t go to college? You don’t work a 9-5? You make a living as a writer and women’s empowerment facilitator? What does that even mean?”
So far, it’s looked something like this.
I started working side jobs as soon as I turned 14 years old and continued to do so all the way through high school, to the point that I’d had at least five different long-term jobs by the time I was 18.
None of them were particularly fulfilling, but I liked working and wanted to make money so that I could do what I wanted so that I could grow up so that I could be an adult so I could feel free.
As soon as I graduated high school, I moved across the country to Oakland, California to pursue Photography as a major in art school.
After one semester, I dropped out of college and moved back across the country.
Because it wasn’t fulfilling me.
When I got back to Vermont, I began studying massage therapy instead.
Once I graduated massage school, I moved to Maine and secured a studio to massage out of right away.
Within two months (tops), I quit massaging for a work and found myself jobless with no clear direction.
Because it wasn’t fulfilling me.
Immediately, work came into my life on a silver platter that inspired me and was a career opportunity which bred me for what I’m doing now (amongst a wealth of other trainings, programs, retreats, events, and more that I participated in over the years).
Reading this bullet points of my life could paint the picture of any of the following:
- I’m a hard worker.
- I’m a quitter.
- I’m a little messy.
- All of the above.
However, I prefer to see it all a little differently.
Sure, I could have made more calculated decisions before dropping commitments so quickly.
For sure I confused a whole lot of people in my process of picking up new things and putting others down.
I definitely let at least a few people down, from breaking contacts, wasting money, switching lanes in a matter of seconds, and being generally all over the map.
But the reality is, it all bred me for who I am and what I’m doing now, which is that:
I started my own business when I turned 23 and was making a living from it within a few months.
I have continued to run my business profitably since then, having created a beautiful lifestyle for myself that I’m excited to wake up to every single day, and I’m fulfilled by the work that I do because I know that it’s contributing a fuck-ton of goodness to both the world and individuals lives.
What it all boils down to, is that I have zero regrets.
Not only that, but I don’t think that anything I did or didn’t do was a waste of time or resources, because every single class I took, program I was a part of, event that I went to — regardless of whether I stayed in that field or not — has shaped me into the woman I am today.
And that woman I am today?
I’m super fucking proud of her and in love with who she’s become.
Not many people can go to sleep at night with a sense of contentment in their hearts with who they are, and my ability to do that is worth every college class I didn’t take, every contract I broke, every dollar I (or my dad) spent and every direction I didn’t wind up going at the risk of being hard to understand.
Living up to other people’s standards, molds, or ideals is a recipe for soulful distress and is not your responsibility to do.
People might not always be happy with you for breaking the mold, but is it worth losing yourself as opposed to someone’s temporary dissatisfaction with you?
My one directive is, and always has been, to stay true to myself.
And following that path is worth every damn mistake in the world.
Do you, boo.