It's Possible to Transmute Self-Hatred

I'm almost sure I've gone mad,

Claimed by a level of self-hatred I never imagined possible.

I disgust myself,

Enraged by my choices and willingness to cast my life aside.

How dare I risk the biggest gift I've been given,

Air to breathe and feet to walk upon this Earth.

Who am I to take this gift of life for granted,

All for a moment of pleasure in the grand scheme of things.

I came far to close to surrendering myself to the Gods,

Once and for all.

Would it really have been worth it,

In the end?

If that was the conclusion to my story,

Right then and there.

Would I have handed myself over,

In perfect timing?

I lay here on the ground,

With a sense of obliteration like I've never before experienced.

I'm shocked,

Lost,

Confused,

Taken.

The disgust with myself persists through the day,

Until a holy moment arrives.

This moment unveils itself to me,

Like a woman preparing to lay with me.

Everything comes crystal clear,

And in that very instant it all makes so much sense.

You're only human,

And it's all a choice.

You can be humbled or you can be defeated,

So, which will you choose?

Posted on May 9, 2016 and filed under Empowerment, Self-Love, Poetry.