Men Are Privileged to be Irresponsible

What a sweet pleasure men have

that they don’t even realize

and most certainly take for granted

the privilege of getting to be irresponsible with their bodies

they off load their sperm onto a woman

or better yet

inside her

dust their hands off

and go on about their day

maybe they have work to move onto

or perhaps their only agenda

is to kick back and smoke a spliff in the sunshine

either way

they ride on

skateboards, bikes, snowboards

they ride on

because they can

they’re not the ones who wind up shouldering the responsibility

of life growing inside of them

us women

we’re not so lucky

if we take a chance

when we let you inside of us

we don’t have the luxury of being irresponsible

because irresponsible means

we bear life within us

possibly when we don’t intend to

and if the crimson tides arrive

when we're not seeking a child growing in our womb

it’s because we got lucky

not because the odds are in our favor

women are getting pregnant all the time

constantly

somehow it took over ten years of being sexually active

for a pregnancy to remain

one that I did not plan

or desire at that time

for some reason

this one decided to stick

of all times

not when I was in one of my four long term, monogamous relationships

not when I was deeply engaged emotionally and intimately with a partner

but when I’m casually taking lovers

“having fun”

life decides to take hold within the caves of my womb

when I’m not ready

when the only lovers I’ve had lately

are children who cannot even stomach the truth in a responsible way

that what they so irresponsibly spread within me

is their burden of reality to carry too

it’s not just mine

but because they can’t handle their 50%

I will carry the full 100

it will be me who hands over the cash at the desk of planned parenthood

after having just popped one of two pills that will abort the growing life inside of me

it will be me who shoulders the emotional burden and the terrors of grief

of what it means to choose not to give life to life that has taken hold inside of me

it will be me who leans on all of the rest of the support systems in my life instead of on you

because what’s inside of me will scare you and render me sharing anything with you useless

so instead I write this manifesto to all of the men

letting them know

that they should realize this sweet pleasure

the luxury of irresponsibility they get to bask in

often without even knowing it

the number of women who silently exercise their right to choose

as they should

on a daily basis

protecting you, the man

from the emotional burden

in fear of being labeled, “that crazy bitch”

you don’t even fucking know

if you’re one of the men

who’s spraying their semen

without much consideration

keep in mind

you may have contributed to life at one point

and not even known it

because this is the reality us women

we carry

day in

and day out.

Posted on September 7, 2017 .