I'm Fucking Done Comparing Myself

I’m fucking done comparing myself
no more
it ends here
I refuse to fall into another one of those vortexes
juxtaposing myself against another
finding all of the ways that I am less than
and the many ways she is much more
yeah, bad bitches get insecure too
I don’t mean I’ll never find myself in a comparison hangover again
it’s more like
I cannot fathom continuing this kind of personal torture
to the depths and extent
I sometimes I allow it to go
why do I entertain such utter bullshit from myself
allowing another’s experience to dictate our own
I catch my reflection in the computer screen
nipples deep in four of those Justin’s peanut butter cups
having already smashed a huge bag of popcorn
albeit organic and non-gmo
it was still a huge fucking bag
just not really liking myself all that much in that moment
I mean
it could be worse
sitting there
judging my curvaceous body
against her rail thin frame
how many times do I have to hear we’re all born with varying physical makeup
to understand that some people just aren’t built that way
and all bodies
every single shape and size
are fucking fabulous
rail thin or rounder
ugh, but she travels the world all the time
bitch, are you not remembering you were just in Europe for five weeks?
the California desert before that hosting a retreat
and Los Angeles for a minute
then your favorite hot springs in Arizona for a week on the other side of all that?
we’re all doing life our own way
in our own timing
and how we each walk out our journey
is fucking beautiful
I’ve had enough of the comparison hangovers
continually falling into the pit of shame
where nothing is ever enough
I’m doing life on my terms
in my way
the way I want to live
and I will celebrate my journey
until my dying breath
I’m fucking done comparing myself.